It's the Tonight Show with....hmmmmm.....

O “mercado de trabalho”, bicho implacável que espera engolir todas as pessoas com mais de 16 anos e menos de 65, acaba de fazer uma nova e célebre vítima. Conan O’Brien soltou um sonoro “Fuck you” aos ouvidos dos “suits” da NBC ou, se quisermos, fez-lhes um bem mais português manguito (excepto se o leitor for o Joe Berardo. Aí mantém-se o “fuck you”), e saltou borda fora do “Tonight Show”. Para quem não seguiu os desenvolvimentos dos últimos dias, a história conta-se rápido. Tudo começou com rumores de que a NBC, desgostosa com as audiências rídiculas do Jay Leno’s Show que ia para o ar às 22h (hora dos EUA), decidiu alterar o horário do programa passando-o para as 23:35h, hora a que tinha início o Tonight Show de Conan O’Brien. O novo programa de Jay Leno teria a duração de 30 minutos e passaria então para as 23:35h, atrasando o Tonight Show para as 00:05h e o Late Night Show de Jimmy Fallon para as 1:05h. O problema é que o Tonight Show é uma verdadeira instituição da televisão norte-americana, permanecendo no mesmo horário há já 60 anos. Para além disso, Conan O’Brien deve ter-se cansado das mudanças de humor de Jay Leno que ora vai retirar-se da televisão, ora quer um programa novo, ora quer o seu horário antigo de volta. Presume-se que consoante o número de calorias que ingere por dia.

Perante a insistência dos rumores, Conan O’Brien lançou um comunicado que transcrevemos abaixo.

“People of Earth:

In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky. That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way.

Yours,

Conan”

Perante tamanha salganhada, vários apresentadores de talk-shows fizeram já a piadinha habitual nos respectivos programas.

No final, ficam uma série de perguntas sem resposta. Primeira: Quem, no seu perfeito juízo e sem a intervenção de opiáceos, prefere manter Jay Leno na sua cadeia televisiva e dispensar Conan O’Brien? Nenhum ser-humano meu conhecido de certeza. Conan O’Brien é um dos cómicos mais consensuais que apareceu nos últimos anos. Segunda: Correm com Conan O’Brien mas ficam com Jimmy Fallon?! O tipo que transformou o Late Night Show numa bocejante sessão de elogios a todos os seus convidados e respectivos projectos, famílias e amigos, completamente destituída de graça ou talento? Valha-nos Deus pelos The Roots. Terceira, e no meu entender mais inquietante: Que raio de mundo é este onde até Conan O’Brien, que até a dar puns se nota ser brilhante, é escorraçado do seu emprego sem apelo nem agrado?! É que se é para isto....